The Language of Love

 

Actually, there are 5 primary Love Languages, according to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love That Lasts.  My boyfriend, Dave, introduced me to this premise early in our dating relationship.  I must admit quite readily that, if it were not for the information in this book, our relationship might have been a very short one.  As it turns out with us, and I suspect for most couples, our primary Love Languages are not the same.  In fact, my Love Language is Quality Time, the thing most difficult for him to give, as a man whose professional life requires a lot of travel.  His primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation, something that I have never given with ease.  Making this realization and then consciously choosing to learn to speak your partner’s language is not easy, but it is definitely worth it if you want to give and receive love.  I know from experience that love given in a language that is not understood by the receiver “falls on deaf ears”.

Words of Affirmation

   The 5 Love Languages are:

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

Quality Time

There is a quick and easy way to find out which of these Love Languages is your primary.  You can reach the 5 Love Languages website at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/, for a quiz that will help you define your primary Love Language, and of course, you will want your partner to take the quiz too.  You can also simply give some thought to what you generally seek in your relationships and how you usually choose to express love to others.  The book is a valuable tool to help you learn how to speak your loved one’s language.

We all have a deep need for emotional love.  Often, when we give love in our own language and it is not received as it was intended, doubts about the depth of the love connection and about self-worth creep in.  These doubts and the hurt they cause start to erode both our own self-confidence and the quality of the relationship.  What Dave and I have both learned as we embraced the need to speak each other’s Love Language, is that we always get back more than we give.  When you give your partner love in his language, he not only hears you but he knows that you made a conscious decision to do so.  This gesture will create a feeling of love and gratitude that he will return to you as a gift in your language.  The desire to continue to please each other self-perpetuates itself if you remain conscious and CHOOSE LOVE!

Your health AND that of your relationships is in your hands!

 Happy Valentines Day,

Suzanne